I’ve always found writing difficult. In my English Language classes, it would take me ages to start a creative writing assessment. I think it was only once I managed to impress my teachers with a short story about a terrorist boarding a plane. Thrilling.
English Literature, on the other hand, was a different story. I loved diving into Shakespeare’s sonnets, analysing Of Mice and Men and other books. I enjoyed (and still do) trying to find meanings behind an author’s words and their characters. During school, I concluded that I’m better at reading stories rather than creating them.
I carried this with me throughout university. At the end of my Master’s, I realised how much I enjoy writing essays about books, and I tried to make a career out of it. I started by writing book reviews on a blog and Instagram but this quickly got taxing—every single book does not need or deserve a review. Sometimes, I felt that I was doing the author injustice by writing, what I thought was, an amateurish review of their work. I felt compelled to say something about a book when there wasn’t anything to say. The pressure of writing and keeping up with book trends took the fun out of reading.
I’ll still be writing about books on structured rambles, but I‘ll actually have something to say about them. I’ll also explore other things, such as TV, life, travels, food, film, whatever. I want structured rambles to allow me to be creative with writing, and I want it to be fun.
I hope it becomes a form of meditation. Writing helps me clear my headspace and anxieties, but I’ve become lazy with journaling, and it takes me a long time to pick up my notebook. A lot of this comes from feeling that my writing is awful, and it stops me from writing for me and me only. Of course, people have complimented me on my work, but it’s the imposter syndrome I need to overcome. I hope structured rambles allows me to do so.
I’ve been thinking about starting this page for a while but similar doubts and questions have stopped me: “is my writing good enough? Are my words even worth anything at all?” Honestly, I’m not too fussed about answering questions. Instead, I am excited to see where my ideas will take me.
To whoever is still reading: thanks for sticking to the end with my first ramble; I hope you join me for more too.
a journey with words
Keep rambling! don't stop.